No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
