Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
