no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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