Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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