It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
