im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
