We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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