Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize