Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
