I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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