then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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