I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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