I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
