My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
