I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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