i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
