Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Shame - the story of my life.
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