Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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