This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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