I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
this will be a night to untag.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
