You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's blow job season.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
