found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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