I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize