there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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