If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize