I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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