Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
