How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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