12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
