If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
