I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
