This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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