The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no. you can't hotbox the world.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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