OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
