Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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