So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
