We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
