I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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