Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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