i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
