Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
