She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
