Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize