Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
