i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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