# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently you make a good broom.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
