What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
