ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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