it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
