Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize