I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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