So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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