Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize