Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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