Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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