Bisexual people are plain selfish.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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