i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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