Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
