dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
