I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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