yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
