the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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