return my video game
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
