I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
