I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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