I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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