If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize