We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
