Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
