the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
