STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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