Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
