she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
